


Lost Socks

by LenoirWhittlethorn



Series: Empty Boots [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempted Rape, F/M, Sensuality, Violence, intense imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenoirWhittlethorn/pseuds/LenoirWhittlethorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello all! Welcome to the first installment of Lost Socks; mini chapters that are either bridges to the main chapters or just fun snippets. This Lost Sock is both, since it actually was edited out of Chapter 2, due to length. I will only say that this LS was supposed to be released during the holidays last year, but due to said holidays, I wasn’t able to finish it until now. ((This is definitely a bridge LS)). The opening is supposed to mirror “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” and the ending line is a reference to an Utada song…welcome to Lost Socks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost Sock 01

** 01 **

 

 

It was the eve before Christmas and all was quiet at the Levi house. Everything was blanketed in the dreary shadows of a sluggish winter dawn. The three inhabitants scarcely moved and even the cars outside tenderly crunched the snowy streets with reverence. All was calm.

 

Then there came such a clamorous clinking sound, comparable with tinkling bells. Waves of murmuring and grumbling crashed against the door until a small click hushed all clamor. The door knob quivered, barely containing the excitement exerted into its turning. 

 

On the same floor, the Jaeger boy slept without a care. In the adjacent room, the muffled Mikasa woke with a start. Someone was breaking in and by the mismatched rhythm of their clopping footsteps, were inebriated. At least one of them. She shivered when she pulled the blanket off of her head and tensed when the crisp clatter of metal smacked against the floor like raindrops. 

 

Book in hand, Mikasa stalked carefully, blood rushing to her ears and leaving her fingers. Eren was her primary concern, so she slunk out of her bedroom and slipped into Eren’s room. She kept the door slightly ajar; closing the door would only bring attention to themselves. She glided around the bed so that she was facing the doorway. A loud bang in the living room followed by stifled laughter convinced Mikasa that these crooks were out of their minds. 

 

Eren moaned softly and rolled on his back. Mikasa smiled as she saw the ruffled hair and dried drool on the corners of his mouth. This was how he should be. She let her fingertips flutter on his forehead and he scowled. He swiped at her, but when he bumped her wrist, he immediately grabbed it. 

 

“Eren, it’s Mikasa,” she rasped, “Eren.” she bonked him on the head with the thick book in her free hand. 

 

Eren woke up and grunted in pain. “Mikasa, what is your--” 

Mikasa put a hand over Eren’s mouth and stared at him. His eyes darkened and he nodded. It was the same routine again.

 

Before they could twinge a muscle, there came such a raucous that they jumped and ran out of the bedroom. Both decided they were going full on assault and rushed into the living room. Bright, colorful lights flashed, disorienting them since they were adjusted to the darkness. Still, they heard a scuffle and attacked the nearest enemy. 

 

Mikasa heard Eren’s battle cry and crouched. As always, Eren attacked recklessly and went for his enemies’ torsos or faces. Her eyes adjusted and she made out the silhouette of a large man, so she waited for Eren’s lunge. When he got off the ground, she did a roundhouse kick, enhancing Eren’s attack by allowing him to pin down the intruder. 

 

The man hissed when his tailbone collided with the floor. Mikasa observed that the man recovered unusually fast and was doing a good job keeping Eren’s fists away from his face. These weren’t typical street criminals, which made Mikasa anxious. Her eyes adjusted, though the lighting was too dim for her to make out definitive features on the man Eren was attacking. A sharp gasp grabbed Mikasa’s heightened hearing and she turned her head. 

 

She must’ve been more disoriented than she thought because Santa was pinned down by Levi not more than a few feet away. At first, she thought Levi gasped, once again thinking about his handicap. When she saw his tired glare and calm breathing, Mikasa knew who was in control. Then it had to been Santa, with his rosy cheeks and nervous grin. Something was off about Santa, the first detail being that instead of a jolly belly, there was a concave middle that Levi was straddling. The second detail was when Santa laughed. There was no deep baritone guffaws littered with the iconic “Ho ho ho”, instead Santa sounded like a woman. 

  
  
  


Levi didn’t care if he was putting too much pressure on Santa’s lean arms. He clenched his jaw when Santa laughed. The adrenaline rush wore off moments ago, but his anger intensified with clarity. “You find this funny?” He snarled.

 

Santa swallowed, but beneath fluttering eyelids, a pair of glazed eyes sparkled with mischievousness. “Happy Birthday.” Santa slurred softly.

 

Heat exploded throughout Levi’s body and his frustration grew. “How--?” Levi struggled voicing all of his questions. 

 

How could she lay there smiling, blissful about her breaking in and not have enough sense to remember they were soldiers? How could she let her guard down, while at any second, Levi could find himself back on the battlefield? How could she manage a smile?

 

“You’re heavier than you look.” Santa mumbled after breathing deeply. 

 

The heat increased under Levi’s skin and he lowered his head until he felt Santa’s breath wafting over his mouth. Santa’s eyes widened, some semblance of sobriety shimmered, while Levi’s mouth came closer. Blaring lights and musty heat enveloped the two weathered souls. Levi softly scoffed and grabbed the fake Santa beard with his teeth. With a harsh yank, he lifted his head high from the dank stratosphere of intimacy. Spitting out the beard, Levi glared down at the beardless Santa.

 

“Where are your crappy glasses, Zoe?” He growled.

 

Zoe’s flushed face scrunched as she organized her slushed thoughts. A toothy grin spread across her face and she turned her head to her left. “My reindeer has them.” She giggled.

  
  
  


Shame spread over Mikasa when Levi turned his head towards her; as if she witnessed something she shouldn’t have. An apology formed under her tongue, until she noticed he was looking past her, towards the man Eren was attacking. Her vision restored, Mikasa followed Levi’s gaze and saw that her brother was punching a man in a reindeer costume. Minus the red-nose.

 

“Erwin,” Levi breathed deeply upon seeing Eren relentlessly punching the reindeer man’s block. “Jaeger, stop or I’ll kick your skull in.” He threatened Eren.

 

“Sorry, Sir, I was didn’t know he was a friend.” Eren answered and hopped off of Erwin. He stood stiffly, like a little boy that recently got his hand slapped by his mother. Or a soldier awaiting orders. Mikasa’s heart sank when she watched Eren obey blindly. She kept alert when the man sat up. 

 

“Erwin,” Levi repeated, half to get the man’s attention and half to convince himself that his old commanding officer was in a reindeer costume. “you could’ve called.”  

 

The reindeer man brushed himself off and smirked. “I got tired of your droll answering machine.”

 

“So breaking and entering was the only solution?”

 

Erwin lifted his hands in mock defeat, his smirk developing into a grin. “I couldn’t leave Zoe to her own devices now, could I?”

 

Levi crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re in a reindeer costume.” He snorted in disgust when Erwin straightened the foam antlers  that almost fell from his scuffle with Eren.

 

Raising an eyebrow, Erwin looked at Zoe. “Where are your glasses, Zoe?”

 

“I told you my reindeer has them!” Zoe blurted and flailed her arms in frustration.

 

Eren looked around, confused, he scratched his bare collarbone. “There’s no glasses on the floor or on the reindeer, Erwin, so maybe she’s too plastered to remember?” He glanced at Erwin and snorted. 

 

The large man in the reindeer costume was becoming too much for Eren; he was aware of how silly the whole situation was now that the adrenaline rush had subsided. When Erwin smiled at Eren, however, the young man felt his chest tighten. It wasn’t silly anymore. Eren searched for Mikasa’s eyes and as always, he found them staring back at him. She nodded enough for only Eren to notice and it confirmed that his anxieties were right. It was time to be silent and observe.

 

 

The bridge of his nose was the only salvation for Levi’s near loss of patience; he pinched it for all it was worth. He kept his eyes closed, knowing that he would never forget this night, to his greatest dismay. Calling the police was tempting, but a gentle tug on his long sleeve shirt snapped him back into the room. Levi looked and saw Zoe clutching at the bottom of his shirt. Her wide, blood-shot eyes alarmed him and memories of that one day on the battlefield flooding back. After catching his breath, Levi managed a few words.

 

“What’s wrong, Zoe?” He rasped.

 

Without blinking, Zoe whispered hoarsely. “I think I lost Mike and Moblit and glasses.” 

 

“Zoe, I swear--” Levi growled and roughly yanked her hands off of him.

 

“Oh yeah, we were a party of four--wait--no, six, if you include the bar owners.” Erwin’s face suddenly went serious. “We lost Mike and Moblit.” 

 

Levi got off of Zoe and crawled towards the couch. He couldn’t stand the heat anymore. “I’m sure those two are fine, since they’re not slosh-brained idiots who think it’s a great idea to haul a tree and lights to someone’s house late at night.” Once he adjusted himself on the couch, Levi glared at his old comrades. 

 

“I just wanted to surprise you with Christmas!” Zoe cried out and went to adjust her glasses, except she didn’t have them on. “It’s no secret you don’t celebrate anything.” She grumbled.

 

“What are you, twelve?” Levi sneered.

 

Zoe whipped her head and glared intensely at Levi. “Then a twelve year old has more courage than you. I face the world and I’m helping others heal! Even the stubborn jerk-offs like you!” She yelled.

 

The lights flashed green, yellow, ending in red, then all the colors went off at such rapid intervals that some colors were sucked into the red. When green flashed, Erwin cleared his throat and it was oddly enough for him to gain sobriety. 

 

“Levi, we’ll make it up to you.” Erwin shifted into a stance that Levi remembered as well as breathing. It was the stance a soldier took before saluting. He knew Erwin hadn’t changed.

 

“I don’t want you in my house ever again.” Levi spat and ignored Zoe’s expression of remorse over what she said.

 

Erwin’s eyes appeared black between the flashes of light. “I can’t promise that, but if you needed favors--”

 

A snarky response was waiting on the back burner, but Levi caught himself as he thought about Erwin’s offer. “Actually, I do have some favors, but one I want to discuss with you in private. The other, Zoe can do, since she’s so courageous.” Levi looked back at Zoe and was met with a pair of tired eyes.

 

Erwin furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t think Zoe would want to--” 

 

“--I’ll do it, whatever it is, I’ll do it.” Zoe replied with grim resolution, fearing the worst, but understanding that she had stepped out of line.

 

Everything played out well in the past few minutes and Levi allowed himself a moment. He had Zoe where he needed her and what made it better was that she now felt guilty. She was vulnerable and he had control. Finally.

 

Staring at Zoe’s anxious expression, Levi shut his eyes briefly before speaking up. “The girl over there needs clothes, especially bras and underwear,” Levi raised an eyebrow when Zoe and Mikasa gasped. “what were you expecting, Zoe?”

 

The alcohol may have been losing its effect, but that didn’t keep Zoe from blushing deeply. “I-I was expecting many things, but nothing like that.” She chuckled nervously when she saw Mikasa. “Hello. Sorry for waking you, Miss.” Zoe bowed her head towards Mikasa.

 

“I-It’s fine.” Mikasa mumbled and bowed her head in response.

 

Levi shook his head. “And?” 

 

“A-and I’ll be more than happy to take you shopping, in fact, I can pay for anything and everything you’ll need!” 

 

“Good,” Levi almost ended with ‘girl’, but coughed instead. “now you two clowns can crash right here at the scene of the crime, since you’re too plastered to have common sense. Everyone can either sleep or be absolutely quiet, because if I get woken up again,” Levi tapped his leg stump and everyone nodded, “good night.”

 

Wordlessly, Zoe spotted Levi’s cane on the floor and grabbed it. She held it up to him, her face still red from hundreds of guilty thoughts. Levi was expressionless, but he sent a reassuring message when he grabbed the cane. His hand brushed over Zoe’s and he gently removed it from her grasp. He could’ve done more, much more, but not with present company. Especially Erwin, who was in fact observing closely. When Zoe searched his face, Levi conceded and gave her a nod. After Levi hobbled over to his stair lift, everyone else shared a nervous glance. 

 

All silently decided introductions could wait in the morning--later in the morning. 


	2. Lost Socks 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This mini episode focuses on Marco and Jean. This takes place after Chapter Four. Enjoy the randomness!

 

 

                                                                                     

 

Nightmares were a normal occurrence; everyone experienced them. That was what Jean told himself whenever he woke up in a cold sweat. The only problem this time was that he wasn’t in his bedroom, but in the living room. And he had no memory walking from his bedroom to the living room. He immediately looked around and made sure Marco wasn’t awake.

 

“Forgot to lock the door.” Jean grumbled drowsily. 

 

Jean never walked in his sleep when he was kid, but after serving in the Silent War, it was a growing habit. His bedroom door had a lock that was reversed and the key was kept somewhere difficult to reach unless he was coherently awake. He remembered his mom holding his hand and mentioning a therapist. But when Jean passed Marco’s room, he sighed and shook his head. It was nothing compared to what Marco went through. The occasional nightmare didn’t hold a candle to the reality that Marco endured. Jean never talked about his nightmares or the sleepwalking with anyone, not even Connie or Sasha. Especially Marco. 

 

The clock signaled the dawn of a new day and Jean shrugged his shoulders; might as well start the day. Even though it was winter vacation, Jean couldn’t shake off the habit of getting up in the morning for school. He almost reached for his black jeans, but he didn’t have to work today either. The sweatpants stayed, but Jean didn’t think twice about his damp tee. He put on a new tee, hoodie, and socks. Usually, he had a routine, but since the day started oddly, he kept doing things differently. While a tiny voice nagged at him to brush his hair, Jean left it frumpy; he had more important matters at hand. The coffee had to be brewed. 

 

After fumbling with the coffee machine, Jean went to the small buffet, sat on one of the stools and rested his head in his arms. He texted Armin a couple days ago, but there was no response yet. An immediate response would have been surprising. Jean knew what he said was vicious and heavily biased. Sorry wasn’t going to make his rant go away or sting any less. There were some subjects in life that couldn’t be cured with sorry. He heaved a huge sigh, ignoring his morning breath, and he began regretting again. Whoever was in charge of fate hated him, because what were the odds that Armin would be close to such a beautiful woman?

 

Connie hadn’t been willing to give out Armin’s number, but figured that maybe Jean would have enough sense to make amends. Jean lifted his head and inhaled the bitter smell. Connie’s heart was in the right place, but Jean’s wasn’t. In hindsight, Armin only defended himself and the guy got along with everyone else. Yet, he couldn’t shake that queasiness he got after Armin had closed the debate in class. There was a reason why the second war was called the Silent War. Nobody wanted to talk about it except the occasional reporter. Plus, Armin’s speech stirred something in Jean that terrified him; he was ready to fight for home and country. 

 

A door creaked open and Jean roused himself into standing. He waited for the soft sound of mini gears whirring and the dull thud to start before he walked over to the coffee pot. He was hoping that Marco would sleep in for once, but it was like clockwork. Whenever Jean woke up, Marco wasn’t far behind. Marco dragged the stool, making the quiet apartment vibrate with the piercing screech of metal on a hard surface. 

 

“Good morning, you’re up early,” Marco greeted, his voice hoarse but energetic.

 

“Same to you.” Jean poured a generous amount of coffee into the giant mug that read ‘The Big 6-0’. “I can’t break my sleeping habit, what’s your excuse?” Jean went to the fridge to grab some peppermint mocha creamer. 

 

There was silence and Jean shook his head in dismay.

 

“Since you’ve been busy, Jean, I haven’t been very active.” Marco spoke delicately, since it was early morning and he didn’t want to admit his growing cabin fever. That he hated the school year because Jean didn’t have much time to play games or watch shows. “Sleeping is a boring pastime.” 

 

Jean finished making his cup and grabbed a mug for Marco; his had The Flash logo on it. “Sorry, I should’ve bought you something when I was at the mall.” Jean poured half the mug with coffee and then began adding copious amounts of creamer. “I got distracted.”

 

Marco chuckled and his right elbow made heavy clunk when he rested it on the buffet. “A woman?” 

 

Images of Mikasa were becoming more frequent along with a growing guilt. He barely knew anything about this woman and yet he felt familiar with her. A few poems came to his mind, but he scoffed at himself. He didn’t know how to hold long conversations with women, let alone a woman with Mikasa’s commanding presence. Marco hit the right chord and Jean whipped around to face him, forgetting that he was pouring a liquid. Creamer splashed onto the linoleum floor, which got Marco snorting and snickering.

 

“As a matter of fact, Detective Bodt, it was.” Jean knew he was blushing, but he didn’t look at Marco as he quickly wiped up the mess with a paper towel. “But I blew it before anything was able to happen.” 

 

“Did you recite a poem?”

 

“Do you want your coffee?”

 

“Preferably in my mug.” 

 

Jean glared at Marco, but he didn’t hold it for long. Marco had a confident smirk on his face, something that Jean hadn’t seen before. “Keep it up, you’ll get it on your lap.” 

 

Marco lifted his hands in defeat, his freckles jumping up as his smile creased his cheeks. “Truce!” 

 

\----------------------------

 

The Wii’s menu hummed to life as Jean moved the coffee table out of the way. It didn’t take long for them to decide what to do for the day. Out of a bad habit, Jean checked his cell phone to see if there were any new messages. No response. He sighed and caught Marco staring at him. Without another word, Jean shut off his phone and put it on the coffee table. 

 

“So, uh, you sure you want to play this?” Marco held his Luigi themed Wiimote limply as Jean grabbed his Mario themed Wiimote.

 

“There’s no backing down now.” Jean grinned and stood at attention.

 

Marco noticed the unconscious action and imitated him. A small smile spread on Marco’s face when he executed the action perfectly. Before, he would tense too much or his leg would go forward instead of to the side. But it wasn’t unconscious, he had to think it in order for it to happen. His smile disappeared.

 

“Marco?”

 

“Huh, oh, sorry!”

 

“You’re doing better, Marco. Remember when you couldn’t even get out of bed?” Jean didn’t look at his best friend as he clicked on the video game’s icon. 

 

“I’m just glad I can go to the bathroom alone.” 

 

Jean snorted and shook his head. He was about to comment about the past, but the game’s menu blared energetic music. The bright colors were nauseating and Jean wondered how much effort the designer put into the game. Still, it was something that Marco wanted to play, so Jean bit his tongue and picked the vs mode. Dr. Hanji did claim that games like this would help Marco out.

 

‘ _ Thank God I’m in the privacy of my own home. _ ’ Jean thought to himself as he picked a random song from the long list of peppy pop songs that haunted him even though the 90’s were long over. There was a gut feeling Jean had about this game from the moment he bought it, but he ignored it for Marco’s sake. Now he was certain that he regretted buying a dancing game. 

 

Three. Two. One. GO!

 

As the song bleated its clichéd lyrics of smiling while heartbroken, Jean moved the Wiimote back and forth. The game was a cheap buy, so he assumed that the game was cheaply made. Yet his lazy movements were barely registering and only when he mimicked the arm movements of the avatar did it pick up the motion. He had to work for the fun. 

 

“Hey, Marco, did you notice--” Jean looked over at Marco only to see his best friend squatting as low as he could, with his butt sticking out as ridiculously as possible. “--oh my God, Marco!”

 

Marco laughed until his face turned red, which made Jean laugh until his gut hurt. “I-I wanted to--wanted to see if I could do that move!” Marco fell backwards and let out a few cries that often came from laughing so hard. 

 

The song ended, resulting in both of them failing miserably, but they didn’t care. Jean helped Marco back to his feet and they picked a different song. Jean picked another song that wasn’t in English at all and cracked his neck. It was time to go all out. All the character models where girls for some reason, but Jean stopped questioning the logic of the game at this point. 

 

Three loud beeps sounded off the start of the song and the girl avatars sprang to life. The two young men looked at each other and smirked. A silent competition began as the two started unleashing a series of overly dramatic poses and moves. Marco lost it when Jean swung his hips around like his avatar and finished with a pose that resulted in making Jean look like a rejected Sailor Scout. Not wanting to be outdone, Marco did the little running in place his avatar executed, which made the floor vibrate each time his prosthetic foot made a connection. He ended his sequence with a pose that made him look like a human X. The action caused his tee to lift up, revealing the prevalent scars that decorated his stomach.

 

When the match ended, Jean came out victorious with a twelve-hundred point lead. “It was the pigtails--gave me a lot of pep in my step.” Jean chided and looked over at Marco. He released the biggest snort when he was met with Marco’s game face. “One more round?”

 

“My pleated skirt is going to out swivel your dumb pigtails, which are clearly extensions.” Marco put his hands on his hips and looked away in mock disgust.

 

Jean made a cat growl noise, which got a snicker out of Marco. “You should show this feistier side to Dr. Hanji. I bet she likes them feisty.” 

 

The comment did its job as Marco nearly dropped his Wiimote just as the announcer shouted the beginning of the dance off. As Marco stammered how much Jean was unfair, the latter laughed and danced for all it was worth. Some of the moves weren’t even being displayed, Jean was just dancing like a fool to the electronic song. As the sunlight ignited a warm tint across the apartment, it also motivated the two young men to dance crazier. The harsh thumps of Marco’s prosthetic foot were nonexistent because for once he was focused on fun rather than function. 

 

After the announcer proclaimed Marco the winner, the apartment exploded with Marco’s victory screeches. He jumped a few times before falling on his butt. Jean immediately knelt next to Marco and lifted the back of his shirt. There was a circular, metallic pad that was the central nerve center of Marco’s prosthetics located near the base of his back. For a brief moment, Marco froze and Jean held his breath. Thankfully, the pad wasn’t broken or chipped and Jean silently thanked  Dr. Hanji for not being a cheapskate. 

 

“Nothing busted.” Jean lowered Marco’s shirt and patted his shoulder. “I think we should call it quits for now.”

 

Marco wiped the sweat from his forehead and nodded. As if to second the notion, three soft taps sounded off from below their apartment. It was Mrs. Riss, judging by the taps; her husband often struck with the force of a javelin warrior. The two young men whispered apologies, and then snickered. This time, Marco motioned Jean to let him get up on his own. He attempted, but as he fell back, Jean caught him. 

 

“Thank you, Jean.” 

 

“Anytime.” 

 

\----------------------------------------

 

It was difficult, but Jean was able to move the coffee table back in place without making much noise. Automatically, he picked up his cell phone and turned it on. Marco was in the bathroom, which seemed like a good time to check if anyone texted. When the phone finally reached the home screen, Jean was greeted with no new messages. Even though he told himself it wasn’t surprising, there was this childish hope that turning it off would produce a message when turned on. He put the phone in his hoodie pocket when he heard the toilet flush.

 

Suddenly a flash of inspiration overtook Jean and he whipped the phone back out. He quickly typed the text and sent it to Armin. Just as Marco exited the bathroom, Jean’s phone went off. Armin’s reply was just as blunt as the new message Jean sent. 

  
I won’t argue that you are an ass. But we all have reasons and bad days. What did you want to “talk” about?


	3. Lost Socks 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This Lost Sock contains attempted rape!

 

 

 

 

Zoe ran up the stairs towards her apartment door, thankful that nobody was around to start up idle chat. She kept replaying her last encounter with Levi in her mind and now she was burning in shame. She remembered the faces of Eren and Mikasa; their startled expressions haunted her as she fumbled with the lock on her door. Soft curses escaped her lips when she dropped her keys. Even though there was plenty of distance between them, Zoe couldn’t shake the searing sensation she got from Levi’s eyes right as he tightened his grasp on her wrists. It was too fast.

 

The apartment was dark and a musky smell filled Dr. Zoe Hanji’s nostrils. She made it to the door in one piece. After she shut her door she stumbled into her bedroom, tears spilling down her face as her throat closed up. By the time she fell on her bed, she was sobbing without restraint and curled up into a tight fetal position. Everything was crashing down on her again and her last interaction with Levi was the catalyst. 

 

She was disgusted with herself because deep down she wanted something to happen for at least a year. It started off with jokes, then flirting, and recently, she caught herself touching him without flinching. But it was all in small increments and maybe that was the problem. Every time she touched him lightly, she kept thinking back to that one day where she caught him.

 

Her actions were too small, too delicate.

 

He wanted so much more and others did it better.  

 

She wished she could afford to want more, but others had treated her too small.

 

Zoe covered her face as she tightened her fetal position; the memories were flooding in now that she was in a moment of quiet. Relationships seemed easy in theory, but application was where she seemed to fail. No. Where they failed. Her work was her life and a couple boyfriends didn’t like sharing space with her career. At first, she chalked it up to ignorance. They never fought knee deep in mud ― never utilized a comrade’s corpse as a shield from snipers. As boyfriends passed through, a crooked pattern began forming that Zoe ignored by sticking her nose in medical documents. 

 

The most recent ex-boyfriend ― most recent being a couple years ― thought it was better if his fist stuck to her nose instead. 

 

It was her fault, no matter what Mike and Erwin told her. Zoe’s ex was like the others, oblivious to the battlefield, but he endured her quirks the longest. In hindsight, he probably thought she would grow out of it. That moving in with him would help her forget about the duties of a soldier. On that first night, it didn’t take long for him to make his move on her. Everything was handled at a safe distance, until she was laying next to him. She was in foreign territory and even though they talked about taking it slow, moving in gave him the drive to go all the way. When his touches were soft, she was able to reason with herself that it was okay and that maybe she was going too slow for him.

 

Then he gripped her too tightly and she instinctively elbowed him in the nose. For a moment she was back in the trenches and a group of enemy stealth soldiers were attempting to kill her in her sleep. Before she could apologize, her ex exploded into a fit of rage and he pinned her down. Zoe would never forget the crazed look in his eyes as he tried to force himself on her. How painful his fingers felt when he kept trying to open her legs. The first elbow strike was a mistake, but now she was threatened and she retaliated. He escalated the fight and punched her in the face, all the while ranting and raving about how frigid she had been to him. 

 

They struggled for a while, until Zoe got the upperhand by breaking his right arm and shattering his nose. There was so much blood. Everything after that felt as if she was watching herself from outside her body. Erwin helped her file a report, while Mike helped by giving the ex a couple more broken bones. All the while, she was looking at herself and wondering if she had acted like a normal woman. If she wasn’t a soldier, would it have worked out for the better? 

 

It was her fault. 

 

Deep inside, something clicked over and Zoe slowly uncurled her body. Her breathing became even as she sat up. There was a deep ache, but the guilt had scabbed over and she needed to pick at it. Rip it off and let the coldness wash over her again. Zoe grabbed her inner thighs and squeezed hard. Even with her jeans on, she knew beneath the fabric her scars were there. They dulled over the past year, since she realized she did have feelings for Levi. 

 

She inhaled and a heavy sob tumbled out of her chest. Work kept her busy enough, kept her mind busy enough. She could think and not think at the same time. But her body was falling apart; she was tired. Silently, her mind brought up questions that made her clutch her thighs harder. 

 

‘ _ What if I just want Levi as another distraction? Keep my mind busy? _ ’ Zoe let out a low groan and released her thighs. Her fingers were red and throbbing. ‘ _ Worse, what if he uses me as a distraction? ’ _

 

“No,” Zoe whispered to herself. “I can’t anymore.” 

 

Still, her eyes looked towards the nightstand, specifically the bottom drawer. It was locked and the key was in the living room. The scabs needed to be ripped open again. It was the only way for her to calm down from those thoughts. Zoe stood up on quivering legs and staggered out of her room. It had been so long, those scabs were nearly healed. They healed crooked. She had to fix them again, and again, and again, and again. A soft click made Zoe freeze in place and she began assessing the possible exits in her apartment. 

 

“ZoZo, you home?” The deep, masculine voice drove away Zoe’s panicked thoughts. It was Mike. 

 

Zoe cleared her throat. “I’m in here, IkeMike.” She attempted at cheerfulness, but it came out shaky and scared.

 

When Mike came into view, Zoe saw the bags of groceries and remembered it had been a while since she’d been home. The bags didn’t seem big in Mike’s arms, but Zoe knew it had to be a couple months’ worth. Her legs gave out and she smashed her knees onto the carpeted floor. In a fluid motion, Mike put the bags on the living room couch and rushed over to Zoe.

 

“What’s wrong, Zoe?” Mike held Zoe’s face, examining her eyes. “You look exhausted, when was the last time you’ve had a solid nine hours of sleep?”

 

“I forgot again, Mike, I’m sorry I forgot.” Zoe cried like a guilty child. 

 

The large man immediately wrapped his arms around Zoe, allowing her to sob on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Zoe. I’ve been taking care of the little ones. Moblit told me you’ve been working non-stop. That’s why you gave me keys to here, right?” Mike spoke softly, his chest vibrating against Zoe. 

 

“They’re okay?”

 

“Yeah, though a few crickets escaped when I tried feeding the little ones. I panicked when a few tried jumping on my hands.”  

 

Zoe stopped sobbing and eased out of Mike’s arms. He still kept his hands on her shoulders. She felt so small. “H-how am I supposed to get a solid nine if I hear chirping?” 

 

“Chirping or your friend’s life?” 

 

“Dying while performing a duty is nothing to be ashamed of, Mike,” Zoe teased as she rubbed her eyes. “I should go see them.” She lightly brushed away Mike’s hands, which he allowed, and tried standing up. Her legs wobbled and she fell forward; she braced herself against Mike. 

 

Mike swiftly picked up Zoe as he rose to his feet. He helped Zoe stand and didn’t flinch when she clutched his right arm for support. “They’re not going anywhere. You need to get some sleep. I know for a fact that even after getting drunk, you probably only slept for a couple hours.” Mike gently led Zoe back to her bedroom.

 

“Oh man, Mike about that―”

 

“―Don’t apologize again, Moblit already told me word-for-word what you told him the next morning after we got drunk,” Mike sighed. “That guy is wound so tight, air probably couldn’t squeeze in.” 

 

Zoe smiled as she remembered all the voicemails Moblit left on her phone. 

 

“Now get some rest, I’ll take care of the groceries,” Mike ordered after seating Zoe on the bed. 

 

Everything started crawling back into Zoe’s mind and her chest tightened. She almost had that key. “Mike.” Zoe grabbed his large hand before he could leave. “I’m...I’m wound up myself. Could you just stay in here until I fall asleep?” Her voice trailed off, embarrassment seeping into her cheeks.

 

Mike smiled and walked around to the other side of the bed. Even though it was a queen size bed, Mike took up a good portion. Zoe moved into a stiff sleeping position on top of the covers, but Mike nudged her. 

 

“You go  underneath the covers,” Mike scolded. “I’ll lay on top of the covers, otherwise I will fall asleep.” 

 

“Okay,” Zoe replied quietly and slipped under her bedsheets. She kept her back to Mike, but she was more relaxed now that she had something covering her. 

 

“You haven’t been this bad in a long time, ZoZo,” Mike mused. 

 

Silence wedged between them and Zoe began feeling agitated again. “Mike can you―” Her request was cut off, since Mike obliged without question. He scooted close enough for Zoe to feel his body heat, but not enough to be invasive. 

 

“It’s not just sleep deprivation, is it?” 

 

Zoe shut her eyes tight and began going into a fetal position. She felt Mike’s hand rub her shoulder and she relaxed. “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

 

Mike remained silent, but he kept massaging her arm. 

 

“I’m comfortable with you being here next to me, hugging Moblit doesn’t faze me, and Erwin teasing me doesn’t bother me. But whenever I get close to Levi―”

 

“Did he do something to you?” Mike’s weight shifted as he started sitting up. “I’ll make his left leg match his right―”

 

“Stop! It’s me, there’s something wrong and I don’t know why,” Zoe shouted and sighed in relief when Mike settled back into position.

 

“Why do you think there’s something wrong with you?” Mike was closer now, though Zoe didn’t flinch and she focused on that lack of reaction. 

 

“I do care about him and there were times that I reached out. But whenever he tries to make a move, I get defensive. I’m fine with you guys, though.”

 

They both began breathing at the same slow rhythm. 

 

“Intentions,” Mike said. 

 

“What?”

 

“The reason why is our intentions. Moblit, Erwin, and I are your friends. You trust us, but you don’t trust Levi. It’s understandable, given his promiscuity with women. You’re afraid that he’ll use you for his own pleasure and then leave you.” The last sentence was a whisper as it left Mike’s lips. 

 

“I’m so tired,” Zoe said in such a low tone, her throat vibrated. 

 

Mike didn’t say anything, he only wrapped his arm around Zoe and she welcomed the embrace. While Mike physically looked like a man to be wary of, Zoe never felt threatened by his size. Besides, his touches were out of compassion, not raw lust; she knew his heart was set on another woman as well. He was a good man. 

 

She remembered how he held the little ones ― her three pet bearded dragons ― with such gentleness. He had sworn to be their caregiver if Zoe was working too many shifts. A small smile grew on Zoe’s face as her eyelids began drooping. Mike had sworn to be her caregiver too. His slow breathing lulled her into dreamless sleep, where even the haze of red couldn’t seep through. 


	4. Lost Sock 04

**Lost Sock 04**

“Don’t blame yourself,” Zoe had reassured him, but her body language told Levi something completely different. All he heard was Eren hurriedly bidding Zoe goodbye, but Mikasa remained silent. The door slammed and the house became eerily still.

 

His stomach contorted into knots as he replayed the scene in his mind. Zoe’s eyes were so warm when she tried to describe his stance on taking in Mikasa and Eren. Then she gave him an innocent, dry kiss on the forehead and he acted like a predator.

 

“Damn idiot,” Levi snarled at himself.

 

Zoe’s eyes lost all warmth when Levi grabbed her. She left him in that moment and her body went rigid. That wasn’t a woman bracing herself for a playful body bump, that was a victim evacuating all her senses so that the pain wouldn’t affect her in the moment. All this time, Zoe held a deep reservoir of pain inside.

 

Before, Zoe would lightly slap him on the back of the head or laugh off his advances. If she was really worn out, Zoe would bluntly tell him to back off and that was that. Usually, the next day, she would be goofing around again. But he had never grabbed her like he did today and he realized that all those flirtations were safe-zones. They were within her control and when he tried to take the control away, she shut down in terror. He had seen that expression before on his own comrades during a battle and knew he had that same expression when he was told his whole squad was dead. But he never would have imagined Zoe to express that.

 

Levi shuddered at the weight of revelation that fell upon him. ‘ _It was a front the entire time. All those smiles. To keep me ― everyone ― at a safe distance._ ’ He rubbed his stump of a leg and his stomach sank so much, he thought it would fall through his body and eat its way through the floor. The wooden texture of the flooring became his focus as his mind drifted to an incident that happened over a year ago.

 

\-----------------------

 

The morning sunlight sifted through the half-drawn blinds and struck Levi’s eyelids. Everything appeared as a sheet of blazing orange, so he shifted in bed. His body pressed against another body ― a woman’s body. Last night’s series of bar hopping bombarded Levi’s frontal lobe. While it was a common habit of his, the mornings after still hurt like hell.

 

Slowly, facts drifted into his waking consciousness. He was naked and pressed against an equally naked woman. Her name escaped him, but if his past self was smart, she would be the type to overlook his memory gap. Levi cringed when his good leg went to feel for his right leg and felt only bedsheets. That’s right, he lost his leg after a failed mission. His mind began charging over to the battlefield, the place he tried to flood away with alcohol. Panic started settling in, so Levi snaked an arm around his sleeping companion’s body and forced himself to focus on her body heat. She moaned drowsily, but didn’t wake up.

 

Her hair was disheveled and the sunlight made it appear light red, even though she was a brunette. Levi remembered that detail from last night at least. The woman couldn’t have been a day over twenty-two, which sober Levi cringed at. As the panic ebbed away and the cobwebs cleared, Levi removed his tight hold on her. He brushed some hair away from her face, ignoring his immediate disgust at the sweaty sheen glistening on her forehead.

 

Levi went cold when he got a good look at the woman’s face.

 

“Petra?” Levi called out quietly and caressed her face.

 

The young woman opened her eyes and the illusion broke. Petra’s eyes were round and hazel, whereas this woman’s were blue. When more sunlight came through, Petra faded away, and deep shame penetrated Levi’s soul. Of course that wasn’t Petra, and the thought of her being in this scenario was disgusting to her memory. He had disgraced the dead, and another drink was starting to sound good.

 

“Mornin’, Humanity’s Strongest,” the brunette cooed, and a sloppy smile sloshed onto her glowing face. She tilted her head further into Levi’s hand. “Did you want to go again?” Her voice was husky and her hands were heavy when they reached around Levi.

 

A soft grunt escaped Levi when the brunette grabbed his butt. She giggled and her eyes almost glazed over, but something caught her attention. Levi felt cold when the woman completely detached herself from him. Curious at her shift in behavior, Levi turned over and looked towards the doorway. His chest seized up when he saw Dr. Zoe Hanji’s intense glare.

 

“Look at the time, uh, it’s been fun, Levi.” The brunette was just as skilled putting on her clothes in seconds as she was taking them off and after quickly nodding at Zoe, she was out of bedroom and the house.

 

After the door slam, there was an unsettling quiet between the two war vets. The shock of being interrupted drained away from Levi and soon anger began to seep in. “Why are you here, Doctor?” Levi demanded icily.

 

“You had an appointment at 9, but I see that you had more pressing matters,” Dr. Hanji replied in a detached manner, though her glare waned into a tired expression.

“I called, I texted, and I even knocked on the door before resorting to the keys.” She held up the key ring and jingled them. “I wondered why Erwin and Mike remained mum about the situation.”

 

“Couldn’t take the hint?” Levi readjusted himself into a sitting position and crossed his arms.

 

Dr. Hanji slid up her glasses and looked towards the side of the bed where the young woman was a few moments before. “The last I spoke to Erwin, he said you were with a blonde. Last week, Mike told me it was a redhead. And she was definitely a brunette just now.”

 

“That’s none of your business.” Levi snarled.

 

“What were their names?” Dr. Hanji’s voice was soft and melancholic.

 

Levi glared at Dr. Hanji, but his stomach did jumping jacks. He didn’t remember much of the past month, let alone the names of all the women he’d slept with. There was no time, only a rotation of cleaning, drinking, picking up women, and cleaning up the aftermath. Time meant measuring and reassessing events. Remembering hurt too much. But he couldn’t put it into words, no matter how hard he tried.

 

The doctor sighed and walked over to Levi’s nightstand. She dropped the keys on the nightstand and glanced at Levi. “I guess conventional means are too quiet for you. I’ll have to adapt then,” Dr. Hanji murmured and her eyes swept over Levi’s body. “Take care of yourself, Sir.”

 

Without flinching at Levi’s scoff, Dr. Hanji walked out of the bedroom and only the soft, gentle click of the front door closing gave away her absence. Shame sprouted from the pit of Levi’s stomach and once again, tears were threatening to spill out. In a weak attempt of replacing shame with anger, Levi threw the keys across the room, but it didn’t work. The sunbeams didn’t warm him up and for the life of him, Levi couldn’t recall that woman’s name. He put his head in his hands and in the unforgiving chill, he sobbed.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Levi fell back onto the bed and released a deep sigh. It wasn’t long after that incident that Levi stopped bar hopping and drinking excessively. The women took a while longer to give up, since it was so ingrained in his mind that the only way he could keep the nightmares away was to have sex. That was over a year ago, but the change from constant sleeping around to none was apparently still hard for him. Levi put an arm over his eyes and bit his inner cheek.

 

Zoe deserved better and he wasn’t better.

 

A lump began forming in his throat and he tried swallowing it away. There were heavy, clomping footsteps nearing Levi’s room and he forced himself to sit up. Sure enough, one of the brats was standing in the doorway. Mikasa’s eyebrows were furrowed and her hands were clenched in fists.

 

“What?” Levi choked and silently cursed himself for getting emotional.

 

“Zoe ran out,” Mikasa marched up to Levi. “You did something to her, didn’t you?” she demanded.

 

‘ _Look at this brat, marching in here as if she were Zoe’s family,_ ’ Levi looked up at Mikasa and noticed the darkness in her eyes. ‘ _No, she has every right to be angry. They all do._ ’

 

Resting his cold hands in his lap, Levi focused on Mikasa’s right shoulder. “I did, but when she showed how uncomfortable she was, I stopped,” Levi explained quietly.

 

Mikasa lowered her head so that her glare could penetrate Levi’s soul. “I don’t care if you are Humanity’s Strongest, she’s a kind soul and if you hurt her, I’ll make sure you can’t pull out anything,” Mikasa’s voice dug deep into Levi’s brain and he could only nod in agreement. With a curt nod, Mikasa turned around and stormed out of the room.

 

Levi put his head in his hands and released a shaky sigh. Everything was changing so fast again and if he didn’t start running, he was going to be buried alive. The idea of running reminded him of a certain package gathering dust in the corner of the living room.

 

A low groan oozed out from him as he realized that he was going to have to adapt to a new lifestyle again.


	5. Lost Sock 05

It was already nearing the end of January, but that didn’t lessen the sharp bite of the negative degree wind chill. Armin wore a green knit cap that, at a distance, could have someone easily mistake him for a famous blonde video game character. Pride was not something Armin could afford, but a winter hat marked down to three dollars was affordable. He remembered Jean’s laughter when they met up at one of campus’ many cafes. He also remembered the coffee Jean bought for him and that was a perfect metaphor of their acquaintanceship. Deep down, Armin knew Jean was only being friendly for the sake of meeting Mikasa again; the man failed at subtlety. 

Armin remembered how red Jean was when they ran into Mikasa at the mall. Chewing on his lip, Armin knew he couldn’t judge Jean without feeling guilty himself. He knew that Jean was doing a lot in order to make up for all that he had said and to also earn Armin’s trust. And he allowed Jean to do those things, because unlike Jean’s obtuse accusations, Armin didn’t see much of the money that was given by the government. The government did value his intellect, but negated all of his other needs such as food, toiletries, and clothes. They treated him as a machine.

Some days, he woke up and felt like one.

The bus stop was a couple blocks away, so he thought it wouldn’t be bad to walk the rest of the way. When he reached Eren and Mikasa’s homestead, Armin charged up the stoop and knocked a little too hard. Armin sniffled, his exposed nose red from the cold. Even his gloved hands were feeling numb. As usual, Eren answered the door in record time and wore a giant grin. Armin smiled in response, even though his cheeks were slightly chapped. 

“We were getting worried, Armin! It’s freakin’ cold out there.” Eren slammed the door after Armin walked through the doorway. “Man, even that small gust was enough.” The brunette exaggerated his shivering by holding himself.

“No wonder, it feels so warm in here,” Armin sighed as he pulled off his gloves and hat. Soon his worn tennis shoes were off and he remembered this time to put them on the rug by the door. A small closet wasn’t far away and Armin neatly hung his coat up. 

The house was very cozy, which surprised Armin every time he walked in. He didn’t expect Captain Levi of E Company to be such a good housekeeper. Armin wiped his nose from the unusual level of humidity in the house. The steam was from the kitchen and when Armin smelled boiling chicken, his stomach made a soft growl. A brief jolt shot through Armin when a heavy hand rested on his head. Eren was patting down Armin’s hair, chuckling to himself. 

“You had hat hair,” Eren explained and the two childhood friends laughed. 

“Armin, you okay? I knew I should’ve met up with you at the bus stop.” Mikasa rose from her seat on the sofa and hugged Armin. “Your hair has gotten longer,” she commented bluntly after they broke their hug. 

“Well it was either use my small paycheck on my cell phone bill or a haircut,” Armin replied and swatted Eren’s hand away. 

Eren stopped tugging at Armin’s hair, which had gotten a little shaggier. “Sorry, I’ve never seen your hair grow out this much before.” He stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket and smiled sheepishly.

Mikasa crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head. “Do you want to borrow some of my hair ties?”

“N-no, it’s not that long and I’ll get a haircut eventually.” Armin watched Mikasa nod solemnly and his cheeks were warm. “Enough about me though, let’s continue where we last left off.”

Eren bolted for the living room, while Mikasa calmly strolled over with Armin. The PS3 was already on and Eren already clicked on the Minecraft icon before the other two could sit down. The three young adults held their controllers, their expressions set with determination. They barely reacted when Levi entered the living room from the kitchen, but when he tapped his cane on the floor, they all jumped.

“Armin, you staying for supper?” Levi leaned on his cane, observing the blonde’s hair growth. “You’re staying for supper,” he concluded, without giving Armin time to voice a greeting, let alone an answer. 

“T-thank you,” Armin called out as the sour-faced war vet hobbled back into the kitchen. He didn’t dare dwell on the fact that he just witnessed Captain Levi in an apron. 

However, Eren sputtered and broke into the type of laughter where no sound came out, but the entire body shook. Mikasa released a low hiss and did her best not to lose focus on the game. Armin shook his head at Eren’s long bout of silent laughter, but he had to admit, he was comfortable here. 

\---------------------------

The kitchen was stuffy, even with the small window over the sink cracked open, but Levi was more concerned with the three young adults chatting as they played a game called Minecraft. It had been a month since Eren and Mikasa had received those phones and two weeks ago since Armin’s first visit to the house. Levi didn’t know what was stranger, the fact that he had agreed to Eren’s pleas to allow Armin in the house or the fact that it felt natural to have Armin here. 

Stupid brats.

After he accomplished the halfway point of making his homemade chicken noodle soup, he scrubbed his hands, dried them, and then washed them again. Satisfied, Levi reached into his sweatpants’ pocket and pulled out his phone. He checked for any new messages, but found no indicators. There was only one person that used to message him constantly, and she wasn’t doing that anymore.

Zoe hadn’t made any contact with him since that day and this was the longest she had been away. ‘ _I screwed up big time._ ’ Levi clenched his jaw and put the cell phone back. Last night, he sent a text to her, but he wasn’t going to try again. He looked over the pots, pretending that he was occupied. He could join the others in the living room, but there was nothing he could think of that would make good conversation. 

Besides, those three entered their own dimension when they hung out, and Levi felt that he would disrupt their happiness. A small ache resonated within Levi and he shook his head. When the war went on, there was no avoiding interaction; only an idiot assumed that he could win battles alone. But what was originally a band of humans fighting for a common goal, eventually turned into comrades, which then turned into something more. They became faces, smiles, and in the end, tears.

Their individual voices orchestrated Levi’s nightmares. The aching was involuntary, but it was manageable. It had to be that way, because he couldn’t express himself in small amounts. Every time he tried, it was too overwhelming for him and he ended up just overbearing the recipient with intense emotions. With his latest screw up, it was becoming clear that he was better off dormant. Hobbling along with missing pieces.

Alone.

Eren released a loud shriek that made Levi jump and almost fall on the floor. Adrenaline made Levi grab the nearest kitchen utensil and brace himself for a fight. His ears were straining to hear Mikasa yell, but instead he heard something strange. Mikasa was giggling. 

“That’s why we need to put fences up,” Mikasa stated after finishing her giggling session.

“Ah man, I forgot we’re not in Creative!” Eren growled in frustration, and Armin chuckled.

Levi shut his eyes and bit his inner cheek as multiple curses erupted in his mind. When he opened his eyes, he was set on walking in there and giving Eren a lecture about indoor voices, but he noticed Armin was talking in a peculiarly low register. Levi stepped a little closer and listened in.

\---------------------------

Armin kept his eyes on the screen as he carefully spelunked down the ravine to grab Eren’s stuff. “So have you thought about it, Mikasa?” he asked, keeping his voice low in case Mikasa hadn’t mentioned it to Levi.

“I have and I still don’t think it’d be safe enough for me to do it.” Mikasa replied as she continued building the house.

“It’s different now, Mikasa. The people’s opinions have changed. Mr. Smith has done a lot to rebuild the reputation of veterans--”

Mikasa whipped her head and stared Armin down. “What we became weren’t veterans,” she growled, and shifted her attention to Eren. “The public is always behind and blood money won’t make up for what happened.”

Eren sighed and paused the game, sensing the tension rising. “There’s always going to be blood, Mikasa,” he said, looking at her with a sweet smile.“Why not let them bleed for once?”

“Crude, but to the point.” Armin nodded sagely.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me going to college, Eren?” Mikasa watched Eren’s face, waiting for him to change demeanor, but he remained calm. 

“Yeah, why not? We have,” Eren blushed, “we have a home now. I think we’ll be okay.” He unpaused the game and focused on it to avoid embarrassment. “Besides, I won’t be alone, Levi is here.” 

“That’s what worries me.”

“Zoe said not to worry about that, Mikasa.”

“I know, but she hasn’t shown up here at all.” Mikasa shook her head. “I don’t blame her though.”

“Yeah, about that. I keep texting her to come over, but she always says ‘later’.” Eren pouted as he made his character charge towards the house Mikasa built. “I’ve been showering regularly now, so I don’t see why she can’t come over.”

Armin sputtered and laughed. “I don’t think it has anything to do with you, Eren.”

Mikasa smirked, but then her face went grim. “Eren, behind you—”

“Behin—OH MY GOD CREEPER!” Eren screeched as his avatar flew a bit from the explosion from the sneaky enemy known as the Creeper.

\---------------------------

Levi caught himself releasing a snort from hearing Eren’s voice go unnaturally high for his age. The couch trio ceased their laughing and began muttering to each other where the strange pig noise came from. Just as they were shrugging it off as a pig in the game nearby, Levi clenched his fists and stepped into the room. The jovial air shifted into cold formality, which nearly bowled Levi over. He kept telling himself this was normal, even though the ache grew worse.

“Were we too loud?” Armin blurted and bowed his head. “Sorry!”

“No, I expect that, but for some reason your tones dropped,” Levi said, focusing his glare on Armin. The blonde looked like he was about to pee himself. “You guys have been exchanging messages with Dr. Hanji.”  
“So what if we have?” Mikasa challenged.

Inwardly, Levi cringed; he wasn’t used to being challenged immediately. Intimidating information out of them wasn’t going to work here. Though it was out of his comfort zone, Levi knew he had to ask for help from these three. And words weren’t going to be enough. Feeling the oppressive awkward silence, Levi looked around the room and remembered his new resolve. He could kill two birds with one stone.

“I want you guys to send her a message,” Levi stated as he hobbled over to the far corner of the living room. 

“That’s low—” Mikasa started, but when she saw Levi grab the large blanket on top of the box and pull it off, she fell silent.

Without saying another word, Levi carefully balanced himself and laid his nub on top of the box. The trio on the couch stared in utter shock until Levi snapped his fingers to snap them out of it. Armin coughed lightly and took out his phone. Mikasa and Eren followed their friend’s example and aimed their cameras on Levi. Before he could even have second thoughts, the various bleeps of the cameras taking their shots were fired and Levi lowered his nub. 

“Should there be a text attached to it?” Armin asked as Levi hobbled back to the kitchen.

“The picture will be enough, but if you want to add something, I don’t care,” Levi muttered.

The three young adults waited until the captain had left the room, before they turned to each other. “I’m not putting anything,” Armin whispered.

“Me neither, I mean how do you put words to that?” Mikasa watched Eren as he typed away on his phone. “Eren? What are you putting in?”

Without looking up at either one of them, Eren replied, “‘Cyberbird’.”

“Cyberbird?” Armin and Mikasa asked in confusion.

Eren nodded, “Zoe texted me about how Levi always moved without hesitation, like a bird taking flight, during the war. When he lost his leg, it was like ripping a wing off a bird.” He pressed the Send button and smiled. “But now, he’s getting a new wing, so now he’s a cyberbird.”

*********  
After taking an early morning bath, Levi hopped into his lift, his ears pricking from activity in the living room. The initial irritation at the constant noise in his house had left him though, now there was a feeling of relief, but he would never voice that to Mikasa and Eren. It was bad enough that he owed them for establishing communication between him and Zoe. Of course, most of the texts were clinical in context along with the constant barrage of “Are you seriously going through this?”, but at least it was something. On the other hand though, Levi knew there was no going back. He would be expected to step out and he would be at Zoe’s mercy.

And he wasn’t expecting much of that.

As he limped over to his chair in the living room, Levi thought about how in only a few days, he wouldn’t be using one leg. Eren immediately greeted Levi with vigor that was almost irritating if it weren’t for the boyish smile that exuded childlike innocence. Mikasa graced Levi with a small nod and continued watching TV. They were watching The Little Mermaid and by Eren’s expressions, it was the first time he saw it. Levi understood why Mikasa was aggressively protective of Eren.

Still, she wasn’t living a full life and if he was going to move forward, then she was too. Unsure of how to present the subject matter, Levi cleared his throat and waited for a reaction. Mikasa picked up on the cue and nudged Eren out of his gleeful stupor. The young man grabbed the remote and paused the movie just as Ariel was singing about her woes. Levi raised an eyebrow, wondering how _The Little Mermaid_ came to be under his roof, but considering how many intruders he had in the past few months, he let it go.

“There are some topics that need to be discussed,” Levi started, internally wishing he drank coffee first. “If you guys are going to live here, it’s only because you need a place to stay and eat at, right?” When he received blank stares, Levi focused on the tv screen, feeling awkward. “There’s...there’s more to life than eating and sleeping, though. Education for instance.”

There was a moment of silence. Levi’s hands began sweating and he replayed his little speech. He hadn’t spoken like that since the Operation. It was uncomfortable and for a second, he wanted to take back the words. A silly fear that his attempt at encouragement would mean their failure. It had happened before.

‘ _There’s no more wartime now._ ’ Levi thought, but he still didn’t believe it. An empty reassurance.

Mikasa shifted in her seat so that she was facing Levi more. “Are you saying you want us to attend college?”

“Just...you, Mikasa.” Levi looked over at Eren, waiting for an outburst.

The young man lowered his eyes and nodded.

Oddly enough, Mikasa didn’t come to Eren’s aid. They all quietly understood that Eren wasn’t ready for a public debut. “I understand, but what would you want Eren doing?” Mikasa’s tone was quiet.

“He’ll be helping me. Dr. Hanji said that after I get my new leg, I’ll need to use it all the time. That means going out.” Levi watched Mikasa tense up. “Little by little and it won’t be just the two of us. Others...will come by to...assist.” Levi cringed at the thought that more people were going to appear at his doorstep. “In a month, the grocery delivery will stop. That means grocery shopping.”

Eren’s face lit up. “I’ll be your guardian!”

Mikasa snorted and Levi crossed his arms over his chest.

“More like we’ll both be learning to cope with typical social interactions,” Levi corrected. “And if Eren does well enough, who knows, maybe he can attend college too. It’s a big ‘we’ll see’.”

Watching Levi carefully, Mikasa put a hand through her hair. “Okay, so how am I going to be a college student without any form of financial—”

“—I’ll pay it. If anything else, Mr. Smith will be happy to pay for all of your other expenses.” Levi smirked to himself; payback.

“I don’t have to live on campus?”

“It’s up to you, you’re an adult.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t.”

Levi saw Mikasa was testing his boundaries—seeing if he was being truthful. As always, she was as cautious as a cat and he was glad her senses never dulled. Still, he’d be lying if he felt somewhat disheartened that even with all her time spent here, she didn’t feel comfortable. He didn’t blame her though and that was why he was letting her decide everything.

Mikasa fidgeted, possibly from excitement “I’ll have to take the bus, then,” she reasoned and looked at Levi expectantly.

“Yup.”

Mikasa eyed Levi and he waited for her to send a curveball. “What if I knew how to drive?” She leaned forward a bit, as if she was revealing a trump card.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“I do, but I don’t have a license.” Mikasa stated and her shoulders slouched.

“How about if you do well in your first year, we’ll see about getting a license and car?” The words felt so foreign on Levi’s tongue. His past self would never have dreamed of this type of conversation. It was so domestic. There was a word describing his position, but he couldn’t bring himself to dwell on it. He didn’t deserve it.

“...Okay.” Mikasa nodded in satisfaction and her tense posture relaxed a fraction more.

Eren coughed lightly and wiped his hands on his sweatpants. “Um, could I learn how to drive too? Later on, I mean.”

These damn kids and their humility.

“Perhaps. Later on,” Levi answered softly.

Eren gave Levi a huge grin and nudged Mikasa in excitement. Though she fell silent, Mikasa’s dark eyes sparked with happiness. Levi slowly rose from his seat and made his way to the kitchen.

“Can I have Armin help me sign up?” Mikasa shot out the question so fast, Levi jumped.

“Sure. I’ll get Mr. Smith to help too.” He lingered in the doorway, but Ariel’s mournful song was the only response, gently dismissing him.

When Levi set up the coffee maker, he thought about having to contact Erwin and sighed. This was all out of his comfort zone, but it wasn’t as unbearable as he made it out to be. Erwin Smith was never one to hold a grudge, but that regal bird never forgot. Picturing that smug smile made Levi groan and he added a few more scoops to the pot of coffee. He was going to need it.

**************************

It was a quiet morning at the local bookstore, until Armin let loose a loud cry for joy. Immediately, Connie, Sasha, and Jean were at Armin’s side. He apologized fervently, but his smile didn’t fade away. Connie and Jean asked a series of questions, which Armin shook his head at.

“Guys, it’s none of those. It’s just—” Armin looked around at the expectant faces, wondering if it was safe. Of course it was, after all, they just may be considered friends. “—Mikasa just asked if I could help her to enroll for the spring semester!”

“Sweet!” Connie grinned when he looked at Jean. “Hey, did you hear—”

“Of course I did, I’m right here!” Jean’s face immediately reddened and his hands trembled. “So, uh, what’s her major? Has she decided, yet?”

Connie snickered, “Hey ask the real questions you want to ask! ‘Is she going to live on campus’, ‘Is she gonna need a ride’, ‘Is she interested in having a boyfriend’?” Before Jean could yell, Sasha put her hand on Connie’s beanie and slid it forward, covering his eyes.

“Don’t ride Jean, this is his first crush.” Sasha gave a lopsided smile towards Jean. “It’s adorable, but also fragile.”

Jean cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. “I-it’s not my first crush,” he corrected, sulking.

Connie didn’t adjust his beanie, so his grin seemed to be his whole face. “Oh so it IS a crush!” He bellowed when Jean ripped his beanie off his head.

Armin chuckled at their shenanigans and reread Mikasa’s text. He replied in all caps that he would gladly help. ‘ _Change is happening, finally._ ’


	6. Lost Sock 06

Snow lazily fell, barely making an impact on the warm streets and sidewalks. People were arm in arm as they walked towards various restaurants and specialty stores filled with homemade goods. Mike Zacharias lingered by his parked car and inhaled deeply. Nothing except the faint scent of vehicle exhaust. He looked up towards the cloudy night sky and clenched his fists for a moment. There was time he could tell how long someone went without bathing, even if they were several yards away and he remembered when he could tell who was coming from behind just by their natural odor. His friends had particular smells, but he never revealed that fact to them. They would take offense, as normal people would, but in the end, those smells were the most comforting for him.

But now he could barely make out the difference between an onion and a flower. However, his eyes were still good and he saw the classy sign of the bar and grill, Utgard. He made his way towards the door and awkwardly got there the same time as a pair of women. Without a second thought, he held open the door for them and they shyly thanked him. They were dressed as if they were ready to go out and paint the town red, but to his disappointment, he couldn’t tell what kind of perfume they wore. Once he entered, he headed towards the bar, thankful that the weather kept the place from overflowing with patrons.

Mike needed to speak to the owner of the establishment and possibly one of the employees. If he guessed right, they’d both be by the bar. He nearly tripped over his own boots when lo and behold, the two people he expected at the bar were there. The owner, a man built like a bear noticed Mike and flashed a grin. Mike held up his hand and nodded, hoping that the employee slouched on the barstool in front of the owner hadn’t picked up the exchange of silent greetings. He took a seat near the employee—a barstool away—and waited.

“Been awhile, Mike, third shift beating you down?” the owner asked and stepped back when the slouched employee sat straight up.

“No, some new things have popped up, Gerger. You should keep in touch with Erwin more often,” Mike replied, keeping his focus on Gerger and not on the employee fuming near him.

“I’ve never been the flocking type. N-not that you and Zoe are sheep. It’s just too many memories whenever I look at him, even when he’s on TV.” Gerger swept an arm towards the bottles of alcohol. “Livin’ the dream now and I don’t want to wake up.”

Just when Mike was about to congratulate Gerger, the annoyed employee slammed their palms hard on the counter. Mike raised an eyebrow while Gerger cringed so low, he was nearly on the floor. “Hey, Nanaba—” Mike started and was shocked he was able to get two words in before Nanaba snarled in frustration.

“You show yourself now?” Nanaba demanded. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me what Zoe was going through!”

Mike took note of the bags under Nanaba’s blue eyes. “How’d you find—”

“—Moblit came by and told me.”

While other folks would be irritated by Moblit’s loose lips, Mike understood that the man did it with the best intentions. Moblit knew the consequences of keeping secrets better than anyone else and he honestly had always cared for Zoe. But Moblit, Nanaba, and Zoe had one thing in common: their deep reservoirs of compassion often left them scarred. Mike watched Nanaba stand on her feet and admired her stance. She could easily throw him with that stance, but he knew she wouldn’t. She was too tired and even in her fit of rage, she was running on fumes.

“All this time, I could’ve been there for her.” Nanaba walked over to Mike and crossed her arms over her chest. “You had no right to keep that information from me,” she hissed. 

Gerger coughed and summoned the courage to speak up. “Nanaba, you know he did it for your well being. You have too much on your plate already.”  
Nanaba looked over her shoulder and glared at Gerger. “Bullshit, I led a team into uncharted territory when everyone else had their thumbs up their butts and everyone lived. So don’t you tell me it’s too much.”

“Y-yes, Sir.” Gerger’s face flushed red and he went to polish some more glasses. He almost dropped one twice before starting his frantic polishing.

Mike kept his expression neutral, even when Nanaba’s death ray vision landed on him. She looked so tired. “War tactics don’t have merit here, Nanaba,” he reminded gently and reached out to touch her.

Nanaba stepped back and shook her head. “I have to get back to work,” she growled and stormed off.

Gerger set down the glass and stepped closer to Mike. “I have to admit, Mike, it was kind of a jerk move not to tell us. Zoe’s our friend too and it kind of feels like you and Erwin are punishing us.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “But I can see that it’s for a good reason. And I’m sure now you’re going to explain the motivation for this little visit.”

“Levi’s getting his prosthetic,” Mike stated and watched Gerger gape. “It won’t be long until he starts moving about the city. And Zoe agreed to do the procedure.”

“Oh man, you think he’ll go back to his old haunts?” Gerger leaned on the counter. “You think he’ll come back here?”

“Perhaps. You know about old dogs.” Mike made eye contact with Gerger. “Keep an eye out.”

“Both of them, boss.” Gerger smirked and cracked his back. “So, how about a drink for old time’s sake?”

“Sure, whatever you feel fits the occasion.” Mike smirked.

“No wine then, unless your sense of smell—”

“—Still wrecked.”

“Damn shame, you can’t fully enjoy wine without at least breathing it in.” Gerger stroked his chin as he looked at the various bottles. “And at least eighty-five percent of my stock is wine. We could have some,” the owner of Utgard was unleashed as he spiraled off into a tirade of various liquors and Mike snorted softly. 

He tuned out Gerger when he looked at the stool where Nanaba sat. The sound of women laughing filled his ears and he knew one of them was Nanaba. Mike imagined the smile Nanaba wore whenever she was on the clock or masking a problem she was struggling with. He sighed, knowing that it would be a long time before he’d get even a professional smile from Nanaba. 

Gerger returned with two shots of brandy. He raised his glass and Mike followed the gesture. “To old friends,” Gerger said solemnly.

“To old friends.” Mike swallowed the brandy faster than Gerger and not surprising, he felt the burn of the alcohol but the taste wasn’t as pronounced. “And maybe a new nose,” he added, and Gerger laughed while nodding.


	7. Lost Sock 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Lost Sock is VERY IMPORTANT. Levi lost his leg, now he's getting it back.

The heavy musk of rubbing alcohol permeated even with the cafeteria’s smell of french toast and scrambled eggs. Moblit sniffed his light blue scrubs and wondered if the rubbing alcohol was infused in the fabric and not the building itself. Maybe it was in his pores; after all, he couldn’t remember the last time he showered. Winter was almost over and with it, flu season, hopefully. Moblit drank more of the brewed swill imitating coffee and stared at his plate of scrambled eggs. Twelve hour shifts were average to him now and with that his senses were dulled.

 

Memories of his mother humming while the pan sizzled with scrambled eggs were lost to him as he stared at the heap of yellow matter. Food needed to be consumed in order to be energy, that was it. That was how he could move on. Today he was clocking more hours than usual, but he chose to stay. Today He knew Dr. Hanji would need his assistance and with that in mind, he willed himself to shovel in a few forkfuls of egg.

 

Dr. Hanji’s patient was Levi today.

 

In a weird way, it was a reunion of sorts. Moblit was there when Levi was pinned against a tree, flailing his bloody stump. Well, at the time the calf was still attached by remnants of bone and sinew. The next mouthful of egg was harder to swallow. It was a chilling sight; watching Humanity’s Strongest screaming and sobbing incoherently. He even tried walking to his dead comrades, thinking that Moblit and Dr. Hanji were there to only prop him up. Dr. Hanji was also screaming and Moblit remembered he had to hold Levi still while she made a hard choice.

 

She cut off Levi’s leg.

 

And now she was giving it back.

 

Moblit sighed and finished up his coffee. After discarding his empty tray and cup, Moblit walked to his designated station—Pediatrics. Coworkers said he had a gift when handling children in regards to giving vaccinations. Not many knew how good he was at laying soldiers down for their eternal rest on the battlefield. It would be a couple hours before Dr. Hanji came in, so it was no problem fitting in some vaccinations. No matter how loud the children’s screams were, it never bothered him as much as hearing the faint rasp of someone’s spirit leaving their body.

 

********

 

Mikasa rolled her eyes after reading the piece of paper Levi gave her. “You’re joking, right? ‘Don’t touch the washer and dryer’, ‘don’t play with the electrical outlets’, ‘no parties’, ‘don’t let Erwin Smith in’?” She crinkled the paper in her fist.

 

Levi leaned on his cane as he pointed towards his lift. “I forgot to add, ‘Don’t play with the lift’, because I may still need it even after the procedure,” he stated and raised an eyebrow as Mikasa seethed. “Look, I just want to come home with everything intact.”

 

“Do we look fifteen?” Mikasa snapped and put her free hand on her hip. “You think we’d just trash the place and risk getting kicked out?”

 

“Well, I’d have you clean up the mess and then I’d kick you out.” Levi smirked at Mikasa’s glare. “You should know by now that I don’t trust easily.”

 

“Good time to learn now,” Mikasa retorted.

 

Levi returned to his stoic expression and his eyes focused on the front door. “I’m trying,” Levi muttered.

 

Eren coughed lightly and Levi turned to look at him. “I think you’re doing good. Thank you for everything, by the way,” Eren said with a trembling voice. “Don’t push yourself, let yourself rest, I don’t want anything to happen—” His voice went out and he looked down at the floor.

 

Words of comfort were from an age long gone, but Levi went with the least harsh answer. “I won’t be put under, just numbed. It’ll be like going to the auto shop; in and out. I’ll be fine, Eren,” Levi reassured, hesitating every few words.

 

Mikasa put a hand on Eren’s shoulder as the young man nodded and looked at Levi. “We won’t screw around, Levi. You have my word,” Mikasa promised solemnly as she also met Levi’s eyes.  

 

‘Someday, they’ll tell me what they went through,’ Levi thought as he watched Mikasa wrap an arm around Eren’s shaking shoulders. The boy was crying again. Levi was going to say something else, but there was a series of brief honks that interrupted him. Uncomfortable at saying goodbye, Levi merely nodded and headed out the door. After closing the door, Eren’s sobbing escalated and Mikasa’s low voice mumbled reassurances that Levi couldn’t hear.

 

Every hobbled step Levi took, he sank further into the silence of mid-morning, and a small voice suggested going back into the house. The sensation was similar to stepping out of a pool—he felt heavier outside of his house now. It didn’t ease up when he approached the large truck and he didn’t even bother looking up at the driver. Thankfully, the truck came with a step so it wasn’t too troublesome for Levi to get into the truck.

 

Levi settled in but did not relax, and he glanced over at Mike without shifting his head. Once upon a time, Mike was a good friend, but the way he gripped the wheel confirmed that they were as distant as planets. ‘He probably keeps close to Zoe,’ Levi thought, noting how white Mike’s knuckles got. ‘Very close.’

 

Thoughts entered Levi’s mind about how close they could be, but he wasn’t some dumb teenager. Even during his phase of being heavily intoxicated, he knew Mike wasn’t as promiscuous as him or Erwin. Plus, Zoe and Mike never gave off vibes of being anything more than platonic. Levi looked out the side window, silently scolding himself for dwelling on friends’ sex lives. What he did know was that those two were good friends, which meant that Levi was probably better off riding with Erwin.

 

Mike released his right hand from the steering wheel so that he could turn on the radio and Levi held his breath. The blonde veteran had faint scars that decorated his arm, but as far as Levi saw, he was fit as ever. Levi knew silence was the safest strategy; he had seen Mike in combat and while it had been years, it wouldn’t take much for Mike to remember how to kill a man.

 

Of all the songs for the radio to play, a love song began playing. The radio DJ said it was titled “Love Love Love” and Levi crossed his arms in disdain. The song was slow and the lyrics were thick, but more importantly it dealt with subjects that he really didn’t want to linger on. Not on this day; perhaps not on any other day. Mike coughed lightly and Levi wondered if the big guy felt a little uncomfortable with the song too. Or merely felt uncomfortable that Levi was hearing a song he might enjoy.

 

The temptation to speak up was growing, but Levi was unsure on how to start a conversation with someone he hadn’t seen until now, and the battlefield wasn’t a subject Levi wanted to bring up. Some vets didn’t mind sharing their stories, but Levi never spoke of his and wanted to keep it that way. His missing leg told the story well enough. Levi listed some possible things to say, but he scrapped those ideas after realizing how fake they’d be. He knew in his heart of hearts, he wasn’t that thrilled to see Mike.

 

Dwelling on that cold thought, Levi didn’t realize that the truck had stopped until Mike lightly smacked his shoulder. Mike’s eyes were darker than when he started his military tour, but there was still a shine to them. He was wounded and yet he was still alive. Levi wondered if his own eyes had any light left. Hanji’s distant stare came to Levi’s mind and he quickly went for his seatbelt buckle. Saying goodbye would be awkward, so Levi opened the truck door without a second glance.

 

“Levi,” Mike called out like the military captain he used to be and Levi knew it was best to face his old comrade. “You better be ready to carry Zoe with both feet planted. Otherwise, I’ll carry you to the morgue.” Mike kept his voice low, but the message carried clearly.

 

Levi could only nod and he slammed the door. He hobbled worse than usual with Mike’s intense stare also burned into his mind. ‘Definitely very close friends.’ Levi stopped after he entered the lobby. ‘Wait, does that mean she...’ Levi felt heat rushing up his neck and he struggled to breathe steadily. The key was that he had to remain calm; after all, he only had assumptions to go on.

 

He couldn’t screw this up.

 

\------------------------------

 

Moblit rushed to Procedure Room 208 the second the PA buzzed to life. He was quietly muttering curses under his breath after realizing that it was twenty minutes after Levi’s designated appointment. Which meant that Zoe, once again, bull rushed into a situation where she believed she was in control. How many times would he have to sit down with her and explain that emotions didn’t work that way? That even if her mind believed she was ready, her heart wasn’t?

 

He knew exactly where Room 208 was, since Zoe was sitting against the wall in the hallway, hugging her knees. Moblit knelt in front of her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. Zoe jerked and looked up at Moblit, her eyes rimmed with red. She wasn’t looking at him though, but looking at a memory. Quelling his rage at her foolhardiness, Moblit spoke up in a soft voice.

 

“Dr. Hanji, you had someone page me, I’m here now.” Moblit looked into Zoe’s eyes, but he wasn’t sensing a connection. “Zoe, it’s Moblit, do you need me to call in a different doctor to take over?” He spoke up in a firmer tone, which removed the glaze over Zoe’s eyes.

 

“There—” Zoe cleared her throat. “There is no other doctor that can do this,” she stated as if she was half asleep.

 

“Of course. Hey, remember Marco? That was a tough procedure, but you did it. This’ll be easier.” Moblit slid his hands down Zoe’s arms and rested them on her own.

 

“It’s not.” Zoe shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I tried to prep Levi’s leg and all I saw was red, Moblit. I thought after years, I wouldn’t be triggered but I went back. I went back there, Moblit.” She whispered it so low, that Moblit leaned a little bit to hear her better.

 

Moblit took a deep breath and patted Zoe’s arms. “Dr. Hanji, I’ll prep the patient while you gather your thoughts,” Moblit spoke in a professional manner, but when Zoe stared at him with eyes falling back into fear, he softened his tone. “We’re making things right, Zoe. You’re doing good,” he reassured before entering Room 208.

 

All of Moblit’s gentility dropped the moment he closed the door behind him and looked at Levi. Moblit noted that Levi wasn’t as lean as he used to be, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, considering the rations they had to eat ages ago. He also realized that Levi only had boxer briefs on, which may have also contributed to Zoe’s weakened state. He sighed and remembered all of what Mike told him about these two.

 

Levi drowsily scoffed at Moblit and propped himself up. “Like what you see, Nurse?” Levi stared at Moblit, challenging him.

 

“Just here to do my job, sir, which is giving your artillery a close shave. To be blunt, it’s not going to take too long.” Moblit shot back without hesitation.

 

Levi smirked and laid back on the bed. “Good to see you kept your sunny personality, Blip.” Levi retorted softly.

 

“Good to see you’re as stuffy as ever” Moblit said drily and approached his ex-comrade, observing the stump that was once a leg.

 

There was a small cut, where a sliver of red highlighted Zoe’s trigger. Moblit looked over to his right and saw the tray of medical supplies. Without a word, Moblit grabbed some antiseptic pads and cleaned the tiny wound. Levi made no reaction, which worried Moblit from a medical standpoint. Still, Dr. Hanji was able to bring Marco back from the dead; she could make Levi walk normally again. She just needed to shove down her feelings and be professional. Moblit put on some non-latex gloves and began cleaning up the rest of Levi’s stump, which was gently scraping off dead scar tissue and washing away any oils or grime.

 

Time passed in silence and when Moblit was done, Levi spoke up.

 

“Is she okay, Moblit?” Levi’s voice was clear, which made Moblit worry more.

 

“Dr. Hanji will be in shortly, sir,” Moblit replied stoically and left the room.

 

Moblit shut the door behind him and jumped a little when he realized Zoe was standing in front of him. “You need to hurry, Zoe, the anesthetic is wearing off,” Moblit whispered.

 

“Already?” Zoe adjusted her glasses and nodded solemnly. “Thank you, Moblit, again.” She patted her friend’s shoulder.

 

The PA system cut off what Moblit’s response and to both of their surprise, Moblit was being called to ER. Moblit looked at Zoe, his eyes wide with panic. Zoe flashed a grin and squeezed Moblit’s shoulder. “They always come first, Moblit,” Zoe reminded gently.

 

“Always,” Moblit said to himself. “Zoe, I’ll come back as soon as possible.” Moblit put his hand over Zoe’s for a few seconds before darting away.

 

Zoe’s smile disappeared as she mentally prepared herself. ‘Just another procedure. So much easier than Marco’s.’ She took a deep breath and exhaled before she entered the room.

 

When her eyes locked with Levi’s, everything flooded back and she could hear her pulse throbbing. This time, Zoe shoved a piece of herself into the dark recess of her mind. He was a patient and she was a doctor. In order for the procedure to go well, she had to keep it that way. As she force fed the lie to herself, Levi sat up.

 

“Levi, I have to strap you in as a precaution.” Dr. Hanji grabbed the thick strap that was attached to the hospital bed. “The procedure may be uncomfortable for you.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Levi grumbled as he kept his legs over the edge of the bed. “Get it over with.”

 

Zoe clenched her jaw and she decided not to argue with Levi. He made it this far, might as well fulfill one of his terms. All Zoe could do was nod and she went for the small trolley that was forgotten in the corner of the room. On it was Levi’s new leg, along with other pieces of metal, including a giant ring that had countless tiny prongs on the inside.

 

It all looked heavy and cumbersome, but Zoe lifted the ring with minimal effort. Levi almost voiced his dry opinion, but Zoe’s somber expression quelled any snark. The air felt uneasy, but Levi was the one freezing up this time. All the color from Zoe’s face was faded, except for the skin surrounding her eyes, which were red.

 

Zoe saw Levi shift in his seat, but didn’t give him a reassuring glance. There was no time for that. Instead she slid the ring over Levi’s stump. Hearing Humanity’s Strongest release a sharp gasp gently tugged Zoe’s heart. But she remembered how he invaded her space—grabbed her. She kept her face deadpan when she pressed two buttons on either side of the ring.

 

Without warning, the giant ring tightened shut with a hiss. Levi flinched from the sound rather than the sensation. There was a faint prickling sensation like static on his nub, but it wasn’t painful. Zoe didn’t react and went back to the trolley; she grabbed what resembled a lid made of metal. This time, Zoe asserted herself and put a hand on Levi’s chest.

 

“You need to lay down for the rest of the procedure,” Zoe advised and she was amused that Levi quietly maneuvered so he was laying down. The touch didn’t trigger anything, though Levi was drugged so that he wouldn’t feel anything. Zoe waited for Levi to settle before speaking up again. “Levi, you must remain still for this part.”

 

Levi nodded as he kept his focus on the ceiling and on the phantom touch still left behind by Zoe’s hand on his chest. There was a tearing sound, which sounded like a wrapper being peeled off and then he heard Zoe hold her breath. Levi was about to voice curiosity, but something was pressing hard against his nub. The anesthesia made Levi confused at the sensation that was spreading over the scar tissue. Zoe hadn’t released her breath yet and the pressure grew intense.

 

Then heat flooded the entire surface of Levi’s nub and his gut instinct was to jump off the bed. But Zoe’s face appeared in view and Levi gulped down his jolt of panic. The burning increased more and Levi wondered in his frantic state if Moblit snuck back in and was lighting up his leg.

 

“Do you feel your leg burning?” Zoe looked at the sweat forming on Levi’s brow and watched him struggle to nod. “That’s good, that means those nerves are connecting to the artificial skin. The semiconductors are doing their job.”

 

Levi clutched the thin sheet he was laying on tightly and a gasp escaped him as the burning increased more. His good leg twitched and he almost swung his nub, but Zoe immediately held down that leg. Levi couldn’t help but sigh in relief at Zoe’s cold hands; if only she could go lower.

 

“I’m strapping your legs down.” Zoe said in a tone that Levi knew not to challenge. Besides, he was too occupied with his leg being on fire.

 

When she removed her hands, Levi wanted to scream at her to put them back. Instead a weak “Please” left his throat and he bit his inner cheek. The straps were tight and Levi could feel beads of sweat rolling down the sides of his forehead. Zoe glanced at Levi and he silently begged her with his eyes to give him a reassuring touch. Her mouth tightened into a thin line and she turned her attention to the trolley.

 

“If you think this is painful, imagine not having the anesthesia,” Zoe’s words were flat and felt like icicles into Levi’s chest. “Don’t worry, you’ll forget about that sensation soon.” Zoe added in a lower tone and grabbed a disc covered with liquid semiconductors.

 

The burning was feeling normal, but Levi’s nudging panic was growing. He hadn’t felt so vulnerable in a long time and he clenched his jaw. The paper he clutched was soggy with sweat and after hearing Zoe’s last sentence, Levi struggled swallowing. Part of him knew it was a mistake getting a new leg; to change. He was meant to stay stuck to that tree, bleeding. The other part of him knew he had to walk on two feet if he wanted any chance of reconciling with Zoe. But deep inside, Levi knew one truth.

 

He deserved all of this pain.

 

Then Levi screamed at the top of his lungs the moment Zoe placed the disc on the cap of his leg. Zoe jumped and began talking, but Levi couldn’t hear her. The fluorescent lights blended together and became the sun. He was roasting as the sun and all those eyes stared at him. He tried moving his legs but only a spray of red splashed on his fallen comrades and he thrashed around. The tree bark dug deep into into Levi’s skin and the pressure of all those eyes made him hyperventilate.

 

Where was his leg?

 

“Levi? Levi, it’s only temporary, hang on!” Zoe had her hands on Levi’s shoulders and was trying to get through to him.

 

Levi’s eyes were wild with terror and Zoe knew he was relapsing horribly. She yelled his name, but he kept thrashing. Zoe swallowed back bile, because she knew that she took too long. The burning was normal, but she knew that the anesthesia was wearing off and yet she didn’t bother to administer more. Tears flooded from her eyes when Levi began forming words.

 

“I can’t reach them! Why can’t I walk? Their eyes, I can’t even close them! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” Levi’s face and neck reddened from the force of his screaming. Tears were rolling down his face and soaking the paper underneath his head. “I need to reach them!” He sobbed and attempted to swing his legs, but he only bucked his hips.

 

Zoe sobbed as she struggled holding him down. “I’m going to get you out, Levi!” She grabbed the sides of Levi’s head and forced him to look at her. “Levi, you’re getting out!” She finally caught his eyes and maintained eye contact. “That’s it, Levi come with me, we’re getting out together,” she murmured, ignoring that her tears were falling on Levi’s face.

 

Levi’s rapid eye movement ceased and clarity began washing over his face. He was still crying, but Zoe knew he was coming back. “Oh God,” Levi choked out and he shook his head. “Zoe, I’m sorry.” His chest heaved, causing a few whimpers to wisp out.

 

“It’s okay, I know,” Zoe hushed Levi as he apologized more. “You’re not alone, Levi.” Zoe used her thumbs to wipe away Levi’s tears.

 

Zoe stared deep into Levi’s eyes and saw his raw vulnerability. She sighed and released her gentle grasp on his face. Before she went back to the trolley, Zoe let her left hand skim over Levi’s right arm. When her hand brushed Levi’s, he sighed and Zoe smiled softly.

 

“Levi, there’s going to be a quick stab sensation, but that’ll be it.” Zoe’s voice was thick from yelling and crying so much. She lined up the leg with the new foundation and looked over at Levi. “It’s going to be okay, Levi.”

 

Before Levi could muster a response, Zoe shoved the prosthetic leg into the foundation and heard the satisfying click of a perfect connection. Levi groaned loudly, which made Zoe flush a bit. When she looked over at Levi, he had his eyes shut and it took a couple minutes for her to realize that he had passed out. She took his pulse just to make sure he only passed out.

 

“What am I going to do?” Zoe sighed to herself and she timidly wiped Levi’s forehead.

 

\-------------------

 

Moblit ran past Room 208, since he was so worried about Zoe’s well being, but all of his frantic thoughts ceased when he opened the door. Dr. Zoe Hanji was humming an unfamiliar tune as she gently stroked Levi’s hair. All Moblit could do was stand in the doorway and listen. Hopefully, the rubbing alcohol wouldn’t wipe away this memory anytime soon.


End file.
